There's No Feeling Left...

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

I was under your spell for such a long time couldn't break the chains
You played with my heart tore me apart with all your lies and games
It took all the strength I had but I crawled up on my feet again
Now you’re trying to lure me back but no those days are gone my friend
I loved you so much that I thought that someday you could change
But all you brought me was a heart full of pain

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

I was worried about you but you never cared about me none
You took my money and I know that you, you could kill someone
I gave you everything but nothing was ever enough
You were always jealous over such crazy stuff

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Move on don’t look back
I jumped off a train running off the tracks
Your day is gone face the facts
A bad movie ends and the screen fades to black
What you did to me I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

-Nicole Scherzinger 'Don't Hold Your Breath'

The Best Part of Me...

'What am I supposed to do...When the Best Part of me was Always You?'

'I'm Coming Home'

''I'm coming home,
Tell the world I'm coming home.
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday.
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes...
I'm coming home, I'm coming home...
Tell the World that I'm coming...''

-'I'm Coming Home' -Skylar Grey

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Every Time You Go...

If I could ask a question
What would it be?
There's just too many,
Like the stars,
You wonder where they start.

But, it starts with a picture,
and it sits in your frame.
And we part with a letter,
and it ends in my name.
And it starts with forever,
and it ends with a touch.
And I know that you're clever,
and I don't ask for much.

Maybe we forgot all the things we are,
When we are together.

I'll stop my fall, when I'm at my weakest.
Tape me up, then break me up,
Ever so gently.
Then it's not so hard, every time you go.

Maybe we forgot, all the things we learned,
when we are together.

I'll stop my fall, when I'm at my weakest.
Tape me up, then break me up,
Ever so gently.
When I'm at my weakest,
It's not so hard, every time you go.

I'll stop my fall, when I'm at my weakest.
Tape me up, then break me up,
Ever so gently.
Then it's not so hard, every time you go.

-'Every Time You Go' -Ellie Goulding

'Find the Words to Make Me Better'

I can feel the night beginning,
Separate me from the living,
Understanding me,
After all I've seen.

Piecing every thought together,
Find the words to make me better.
If I only knew...
How to pull myself apart.

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore,
Alone at night.

All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more,
Lock the last open door,
My ghosts are gaining on me.

I believe that dreams are sacred,
Take my darkest fears and play them,
Like a lullaby,
Like a reason why.

Like a play of my obsessions,
Make me understand the lesson,
So I find myself...
So I won't be lost again.

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world,
To make you see me,
To be the one I could have run forever,
But how far would I have come
Without mourning your love.

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore,
Alone at night.

All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more,
Lock the last open door,
My ghosts are gaining on me.

Should it hurt to love you?
Should I feel like I do?
Should I lock the last open door?
My ghosts are gaining on me.

-Evanescence 'All That I'm Living For' (Acoustic Version)

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'Heart Vacancy'

I feel your heart cry for love,
But you won't let me make it right.
You were hurt, but I decided,
That you were worth the fight.
I don't care who was there before. <3

-Heart Vacancy, 'The Wanted'

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Change the voices, In your head...

You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself...you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough! I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, i've seen you do the same...

-Pink, 'Perfect'

Look...I'm still around....

'Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look i'm still around'

-Pink, 'Perfect'

Welcome to my...Silly Life.

'Made a wrong turn, once or twice...Bad decisions, that's alright. Welcome to my...Silly Life'
-Pink, 'Perfect'

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I'm Counting on You.....To Take It All Away'

'I can see the bright lights shine on your face...I'm counting on you, to take it all away'
-The Wonderman, 'Ellie Goulding'

I want you to understand...Borderline Personality Disorder...

Youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmOfds7UH7U
Another one of my BPD poems...read description on the Youtube video...

I Won't Let Your Memory Go...

I won't let your memory go because your colours they burn so bright,
Who knows, who knows what tomorrow will hold but I know that we'll be alright

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-'Gold Forever' -The Wanted'

Some Days Stay Gold Forever...

We're standing in a light that won't fade,
Tomorrow's coming but this won't change,
Cause some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I'm gonna take my life through,
Cause some days stay gold forever.
-'Gold Forever' -The Wanted'

We Want To Cry But We Know It's Alright...

'Say my name like it's the last time,
Live today like its your last night,
We want to cry but we know its alright,
Cause I'm with you and your with me,
Butterflies, butterflies..we were meant to fly,
You and I, you and I..colours in the sky,
We could rule the world someday, somehow but we'll never be as bright as we are now.'
-'Gold Forever' -The Wanted'

With This Weight Upon My Heart...

Here I stand alone , With this weight upon my heart, and it will not go away.
In my head i keep on looking back, Right back to the start ,
Wondering what it was that made you change ....

Nothing's Changed...No one Can Take Your Place ♥

Well...it's good to hear your voice,
I hope you're doing fine.
And if you ever wonder,
I'm not strong without you.
By my side.

Lost here in this moment,
Time keeps slipping by.
If I could have just one wish...
I'd have you by my side ♥

I miss you.
I love you more than I did before,
And if today I don't see your face...
Nothing's changed, no one can take your place ♥
It gets harder every day.

Well...I've tried to live without you.
The tears fall from my eyes.
I'm alone and I feel empty,
I'm torn apart inside.
I look up at the stars...
Hoping you're doing the same.
And somehow I feel closer.

But it doesn't take away these words...
I really do miss you ♥

-Edited from 'Stay' -Miley Cyrus

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ｙｏｕｒ ｆｏｏｔｐｒｉｎｔｓ...Right Across My Heart ♥

I wrote this poem at about 3:30am-ish this morning...after one of the most terrifying panic attacks I have ever had. Writing seemed to make things better and I'm not sure where all this came from but this is what I wrote! It may not make sense to anyone but it makes perfect sense to me and this seems to have put everything into words. Most the time, I can't find the right words but, I just wrote all this down. I haven't written poem-like things like this for a while and it surprised me what I actually did write. But, here it is. If it doesn't make sense, please forgive me lol -it was 3am after all. I might do a Youtube video for this at some point.


ｙｏｕｒ ｆｏｏｔｐｒｉｎｔｓ...Right Across My Heart ♥

I can't remember the sound of your voice anymore,
I can't hear the way you say your words anymore.
I can't remember your eyes,
The only ones I could look into, are gone from me now.

I can't remember what safety feels like anymore,
The warmth of your embrace, gone from me now.

I'm left with emptiness, screaming inside,
For you to be here beside me again.
I'm here knowing you can't ever be there anymore.

I can't remember.
I've tried so hard to hold on to my memories of you,
So much that I've forgotten all the things about you.

But I still know your name,
I can see your words on the page but,
I just can't feel any emotion.

I can't remember you but,
I have never forgotten you.
I see a face on the page, but,
It isn't you.

I see a smile there too,
And once I swear I saw a tear.
Maybe once I saw you laughing,
I just couldn't hear the sound.

I can't remember you, but
I know all about you.
Part of me remembers everything I knew,
Part of me knows that I can't really forget about you.

I know you aren't here,
Somehow though,
I don't feel alone.
You were here with me once
And in a way I know, you still are.
I just can't hear your voice.
And I can't see your face anymore.

I somehow just know you are still there.
I can't see you but I can still feel your warmth,
And hear the things you used to say.
I can feel the security I used to feel,
Deep inside I know it is there,
Just like when you really were here with me.

Because I remembered something.
That footprints, they leave so many marks,
Yes some do fade but the others will always, always stay.
Yours are the ones that remain, but in a very different way.

Your footprints are right here with me,
I won't ever be able to see them but they are here.
With everything you used to say,
With your embrace and with your safety,
Here with your friendship,
The way you never left me.
I know now you are here to stay, even though really you're gone.

Because your footprints are always here with me,
Beside me or leading the way,
They are there.
Your footprints,
They remain...Right Across My Heart ♥

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ｙｏｕｒ ｆｏｏｔｐｒｉｎｔｓ...Right Across My Heart ♥ Video ♥

Video to go with the poem I posted yesterday...♥

I Wish I Could Give You My Pain...

Another poem I've written...I will do a Youtube video for this soon, like I have for the others.

I wish I could give you my pain,
So you can feel the things I do.
Just for one day.

I wish I could give you my eyes,
So you can see all the fears I do,
Just for one day.

I want you to walk in my place for one day,
To hear what I hear,
To see the world the way I do,
To be me just for one day.

Maybe then you would never leave me,
Maybe then you would really understand,
That it isn’t easy,
Being me.

I would walk right next to you,
So I could see what I am like,
I would walk away from you,
So you would know how that feels to me.

I would shout at you,
So you would know what that feels like too.
Then I would leave you,
Alone in crisis,
So you could feel my pain,
So you could taste my tears,
And then.

You would feel the scream inside,
Just like I do.

If you were to spend just one day as me,
All your colours would be taken away,
You would only see two.
If you were to be me for just one single day,
You would know then why I fear the things I do,
Why I am the way I am,
And why I always say I can’t live without you.

Why it hurts to smile and why,
It feels like weakness to cry.
You would know why I always say…

Please don’t leave me.

And you would know that even though I sometimes…
I think I hate you but really…
I never do.

And you would know why the smallest things,
Make so much difference to me,
How the smallest things are often forgotten so easily,
The few words to tell me I will be okay,
The few words that say,
I am never alone.

The grip of your hand,
Feeling safe and secure,
Just one day as me,
Your heart would hurt,
All your inside would too.

Just one day as me,
You would want to run away from being just like me.
Maybe you would learn something,
Maybe then you would always think about what you say to me,
Maybe then you could try,
And take my pain from me.

At least,
If you spent one day as me,
You could go back to being you again,
It’s not that easy for me,
I’m here as me all of the time,
For a lot more than,
Just one day.

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Would I Still Be Strong...Without You There? ♥

Another poem I've written...I will do a Youtube video for this as well.

Would I Still Be Strong...Without You There? ♥

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like without you.
Not if I lost you but if I had never met you at all.
What would my life be like, if I didn’t know you.
If I only saw your face or heard your voice,
If they had no meaning to me at all.

Would I here right now?
Would I still be strong?
Would I still be breathing…at all?

How would I get through each day,
If you weren’t there to get me through to the end,
Of each one?

Sometimes I think to myself,
My life would not be the same,
If maybe you never walked into it.
Your words would mean nothing,
Your face…I wouldn’t be able to recognise.

I would be alone maybe or maybe there would be someone else,
Standing there instead of you.
I really don’t think though,
That I could make it if there was someone else beside me,
Other than you.

I couldn’t live with someone there to replace you.

I sometimes pause, sit silently and think.
Did I walk into your life or did you arrive into mine?
Whichever it may be, I hope now that we’re in each,
That we won’t have to walk out of one.

I sometimes find myself wondering,
Will I always need you?
And what if one day you don’t want to know my anymore?
A long time from now,
Will we still be friends, like we are now?

I won’t ever know any answers but I have to say I’m thankful,
That I have you in my life right now.
And I have to rest on the thought that everything in life…
Happens for a reason.
That you were meant to be part of my life,
And I was meant to have you there,
To be part of yours too.

What will be,
Will be.
Because thinking that way stops my wondering,
Turning to worry and stops my thinking…turning to fear,
Fear of my life…without you there.

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Too Often.....

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

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Slow Dance

A poem that I'm sure you've read before. I was sent it a few weeks ago and thought it was a good one to post here.

"Have you ever watched your child
Smile on a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see her sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over."

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My Eyes Await Your Return....

...I Miss You.

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Don't Forget About Me.

ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｕｓｅ ａ ｗｉｓｈ ｒｉｇｈｔ ｎｏｗ

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars...
I could really use a wish right now.

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go to a place much simpler than this
What would you wish for...
If you had ONE CHANCE ?

ωну ωσυℓ∂ уσυ тαкє тнσѕє fяσм мє؟

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ᎳhᎬᏁ Ꭵ\'m ᎠᎪᏁᏟᎥᏁᎶ ᏆhᏒᎾuᎶh ᏆhᎬ fᎬᎪᏒ ♥♪♫

Can you see me now?
Can you hear me shout?
When I'm dancing through the fear
Will you catch my fall?
Do you know me at all?
It's like you never notice me.
♥♪♫ ᎳhᎬᏁ Ꭵ\'m ᎠᎪᏁᏟᎥᏁᎶ ᏆhᏒᎾuᎶh ᏆhᎬ fᎬᎪᏒ ♥♪♫

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

This poem I have re-written for on here although I know it's on loads of websites but I found this today. It was given to me when my horse, Star, died a few years ago. The person who gave me the poem said 'read it as if Star was saying it' -I know horses can't talk but...the poem meant so much to me then and it still does now.

"When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart."

Author Unknown

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I'd Gladly Lose My Life For You.

I'd gladly lose my life for you

If anything in your life is worth living for; trust one day you die for it
Something makes you smile so much; trust me one day you cry for it
And you can love someone without trusting them
Paranoid, but true to me

I'd gladly lose my life for you

If you weren't here I'd die, you are my life
When i'm not with you it feels like I'm not breathing, what I'm needing
If there was one thing that I lose
I'd gladly lose my life for you

I hope it never gets to that because,
It won't be a song that could get me back
I love the mentality, ride or die but I'd prefer if you stayed inside
The roads aren't safe for you, haters can't get me, they get to you

I'd gladly lose my life for you

If you weren't here I'd die, you are my life
When I'm not with you it feels like I'm not breathing, what I'm needing
If there was one thing that I lose
I'd gladly lose my life for you

If you are down for me, I'd be down for you
Make time for me, I'll make time for you
And don't lie to me and I won't lie to you
You can call it a bond, it's more than a song

I'm just keeping it cool
But I never make promises to you, promises come from a fool
I'll just give you my word
Because that's all that, I got, this feeling’s more than a lot
The money, the fame, my name, the game
If you disappear then everything stops, but still

You can love someone without trusting them, but you still put trust in me
I'd gladly lose my life for you

If you weren't here I'd die, you are my life
When I'm not with you, it feels like I'm not breathing, what I'm needing
If there is one thing that I'd lose
I'd gladly lose my life for you.

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*´¨`*• Leave Me Your Stardust To Remember You By

Ellie, another of my very special friends, made this video for my birthday and it's so beautiful -I love the song so much :-) How she got hold of all those video clips of me riding I will never know! lol! Thankyou soooooo much Ellie xxxx

Another Tami Video :-)

I found the 2nd video I wanted to post ages ago, it's another video by the amazing Tami Green who speaks about Borderline Personality Disorder...

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*•.¸☆¸.•*´¨`*•. Just Like A Star Across My Sky*´¨`*•

"Thankyou for all the times
you healed my pain
and calmed my fears,
so that I could face the world
feeling safe and secure."

I know I write quite a lot on this blog but I don't write everything on here. I just wanted to write a special thankyou to a very special friend, the person who is like a second mum to me...Lucy, is always there for me. She always knows what to say to make everything better & she is always there for me. There have been so many high and low times but she has been there through them all, never left me and always been my friend no matter what. She gives the best advice & I can tell her anything & everything :) I don't know what I would do without you there Lucy. Thankyou soooooooooooo much for everything xxxxxxxxxxxx
"The best friends in life are the ones that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live a little better" :)
"Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest, it's about who was there and never left your side" :)
"True friends are the ones who know all about you.....and still like you!" :)


"Thankyou for all the times
you healed my pain
and calmed my fears,
so that I could face the world
feeling safe and secure."

It's Just The Way I Am

I'll put on a brave face, show you I can be brave, though I am dying inside.

I'll even smile for you, just so I can make YOU smile.

I'll tell you I am okay, even though I am so far from that.

I'll thank you with my eyes, lock the tears inside, hide behind the mask.

I'll do all that for you. Because it's just the way I am.
I'll do all that for you. Because after all these years, I owe you that much.

N.U.M.B

A video that I made this afternoon, instead of writing, I decided to do a lyric video. I just hope I can write on here about everything soon -the draft copies still aren't finished :/
But...anyway...I love this song. Diana Vickers - N.U.M.B [From the album 'Songs From The Tained Cherry Tree]