Thursday, 20 May 2010

Dear Daddy...These Are The Memories of Your Devotion

One of my poems...this is through the eyes of a girl whose life was ruled by domestic violence, physical & verbal abuse. Living in fear and being scarred physically & mentally...the person who made her life like this....was her own father.

Those memories,
I remember so clearly,
So well, I’ll never speak a word,
I can say it was when you took away the meaning,
Of security, trust and love

You replaced all the things
That should be there,
To fear, pain and hatred
The memories of your devotion,

I never knew fear,
I never knew hatred,
I never knew pain,
Until you took my life away from me

I know you don’t remember,
You don’t know how much pain you made me feel,
See, I remember…
I remember the fear and the helplessness,
No escape,
Your cold eyes,
The strength and the force,
My weakness

How can you look at me
You wanted my life to end
You wouldn’t give in,
You knew your power, your strength,
And my weakness

We hear so many times,
That bruises fade, and memories…they stay exactly the same.
The words you engraved into me,
I was the one who was wrong,
I was never good enough, you told me,
Only good enough to be a victim of yours.

You stole my freedom,
How can you be proud,
The memories of your devotion,
Taking away all that’s left of me

So dedicated,
Your words of hurt
Your cruelty and your passion
Your bloodshed, destruction and torture
True memories of your devotion,
I hold upon me.

I look at these photographs,
You there with me,
I never knew then what you would do to me,
That your intention was to take my life,
But there you stand,
Holding my hand, your grip,
The one to go against me,
To hold me to your wish

The memories of your devotion,
There in those photographs,
Light a flame but the ashes,
They still remain

The security without you,
Let me breathe again,
I am better than you say,
Yet here you stay with me,
And so I still believe.
The memories of your devotion,
Won’t ever go away

I am stronger now,
You’ll only kill me once,
Because I stand above you,
If only you knew what you put me through,
Forgiveness there’ll never be,
Love beyond return

I know you’ll never leave,
But take one moment to see,
I won’t ever be like you,
Know I’ll not forgive you,
For all the scars you won’t ever see,
They are the memories of your devotion,